So I've been trying to come up with a list of yummy, crunchy, chewy (and any other adjective that is the opposite of "liquid"), foods to enjoy in the next few weeks before my surgery. The list so far:
-tacos (+chips and salsa of course)
-hamburger
-burrito
-salads (may not seem like an indulgence but I'm pretty sure I'm going to miss those)
-a nice big turkey sub
-pizza
-apples

And thats about it so far. Doesn't seem like much; I eat a lot of yogurt anyway. If anyone hasn't tried the 60 Calorie Sugar Free Jello Pudding Cups, they're a nice treat. I won't have a problem eating those :)

Anyone else have some thoughts on foods they will be craving? I could definitely make this list longer.

25 more days to enjoy some chewy goodness.

Sorry in Advance... First Real Rant

Well, I may have spoke too soon on the feelings of preparedness I had discussed. After researching more an more about nerve damage, I began to discover more and more things that I feel I need to discuss with my surgeon. I found a document online that was actually very helpful, but a very lengthy read. "NEUROSENSORY DISTURBANCE AFTER BILATERAL SAGITTAL SPLIT OSTEOTOMY" by LEENA YLIKONTIOLA, Department of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery,Institute of Dentistry, University of Oulu. If anyone is interested, try googling that but if you can't find the pdf format (~80pgs), and if you would like it, I would gladly forward it to you. I would highly recommend reading it. It presented a lot of issues that I will be discussing with my surgeon. Another source of my obsession has returned: reading blogs. I believe I spent a total of 4 hours today doing just that. How pathetic? But they were helpful. I think before this week I had formed the idea that this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. Well, I'm pretty sure this will be as bad as I thought. And the thing is, only the people going through this seem to understand. So I'm definitely glad I started this blog and have you all to vent to and share experiences with! I have gotten comments from other friends like "Well, we have all gotten wisdom teeth out before." That frustrated me beyond end, but I am too much of a people-pleaser and I just sat there with this "Well...." look on my face until they said, "I guess this might be worse." ..yeah! I had my wisdom teeth out, and having your jaw sawed in half and dealing with this troubling nerve damage issue is (for one), in my opinion is much worse.
I should really stop ranting because there are definitely worse things.

I hope everyone has this moments, and its not just me. I'm lucky that my parents are extremely supportive and they definitely understand the extent of this surgery. I'm sorry I'm having such a pitty party today-- I'm scared that after my surgery, I'll have little support from a group of friends just merely because they don't understand how hard it will be. Thats why I love my family.

I knew that this would pretty much consume my summer months, but not until tonight did it really sink in that this will pretty much involve the next year. From what I've read today, most people are dealing with issues from the surgery for that long.

I'm also wondering if I will really look that different after surgery. As far as I know, my mandible will be moved forward ~8mm. But I usually try to hold my jaw forward in social situations anyway, for proper speech and for aesthetic reasons. So will anyone else (besides family who I don't worry about seeing my "Marge Simpson" like jaw), really notice after this is all over with? One thing I will be happy about: When I eat in public, I always have my hand over my mouth because I have to let my jaw back to chew with my molars. I will be glad not to be self-conscious about that!

When I'm at home on the computer or studying, I find my self jutting my jaw forward, then having to make myself relax it. I'm somewhat worried about training myself NOT to jut forward after surgery. After so many years of trying to look "normal", its a conscious effort to allow my jaw relax.

I would love any feedback if any of your are experiencing the same emotions as I am... which I'm sure many of you are.
Have a great rest of the week!

One Step Closer

Got the "O.K." from insurance today. This just keeps getting more and more real. (To Holly) The less obsession thing must be going around, because I have been doing less and less of that too. Maybe its because I feel more prepared? I'm not sure. I still get super nervous about it though when I start to really think about it happening. It was really encouraging to see Wired Lady's pictures! I hope I recover as swiftly! (On that note, post some earlier post-op pictures!) One thing that I'm most concerned about is nerve damage. Has anyone heard anything regarding this from people who have already had the surgery? I know most people have temporary numbness, but how many people have permanent damage? And how large is the area that it affects?

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well!

D-Day Dreams

You know surgery is close (May 16) when you start dreaming about it! If only there was as little pain as there was in my dream. First off, I was in the hospital be prepped, then suddenly I woke up with a swollen face but no mandibular advancement! I look to my mom and motion that my jaw did not move! She tells me, "The doctor said it didn't set right, so he had to leave it. They have to do the surgery again."
Completely ridiculous, of course. But still, things are definitely seeming a little more real!

Today's Ortho Appointment

So today at my appointment... I got my steel wires put on for surgery! Today is exactly 1 month and 2 weeks until surgery (if everything goes as planned). I just can't wait for next fall when I'm supposed to get these braces off and all of this is over with! Besides finding out if I get into nursing school, which I applied to last month, that is what I'm looking forward to most of all! If anyone has any interesting surgery info, lay it on me :) I've been looking at the zip-n-squeeze website and others like that... any suggestions?